Arguments with girlfriend go NOWHERE?

It seems like every time I have an issue/opinion about anything the slightest bit controversial in me and my girlfriends relationship, I end up getting screamed at and then ignored the entire following day. Me and my girlfriend have a great sex life, and get along spectacularly until a problem comes along. She hears nothing I say. She simply props up an impenetrable defensive wall, accuses me of completely ruining her day for starting an argument and shuts off entirely. Anything said by her afterwards is usually an attack on me as opposed to anything productive. I feel like to avoid an argument I have to simply keep my mouth shut about my opinions. What the hell is going on here? My ex-girlfriend hated going to bed arguing... this girl seems to prefer it. I don't think keeping my opinion about anything but flowers and rainbows to myself is healthy. Am I wrong? Am I too negative? How can I make our arguments actually go somewhere with her kind of personality?

Arguments with girlfriend go NOWHERE?
Is she going through some stress at the moment? Ask her if everything is okay. If she attacks you, put your foot down and say "Fine. Do you not want me to ask you questions or give my opinion in future". You need to put your foot down in this as she's walking on you. You're starting to cater your personality to her needs and eventually you'll loose yourself all together and forget who you were without her. Tell her not to scream but talk in a mannered tone. Are you sure she's not starting arguements so you can have make up sex? Think about that. If you argue all the time it will start to drain you. I recommend you sit her down and say "This is how things are going to be from now on and do you have a problem with it". Change your pattern. She's figured you out, and knows she'll win every discussion. Maybe she wants you to be more assertive and gets frustrated when you back down. Try it out and see how you go, but remember you have to follow through. Good Luck.
Reply:You are not wrong or negative. Simply put, you cannot make the arguments actually go anywhere with her kind of personality. The trick, at least for me, was to stop thinking I could. It takes two to tango. If you change the rules (just stop arguing), she won't know what to do and will have to change how she addresses these situations in response to your changes. Do not engage her. Refuse to argue with her or discuss the matter. They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Good luck in finding some sanity.



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